Accepting a maid of honor role means more than organizing a bachelorette party and planning the bride's bridal shower. There is way more to being the best maid of honor. Read these maid of honor duties and tips to be the best maid of honor.
Maid of Honor Duties:
Be there for the Bride When She Says, 'Yes to the Dress"!
Many times, the entire bride tribe goes to help the bride find her dress. More recently, with dress shops limiting the number of guests, the bride only chooses her closest such as her mother, mother in law, grandmas, aunts, sisters, and her maid of honor. Ever hear the phrase, "There are too many cooks in the kitchen"? Well, having too many people attend the dress shopping can stress the bride out or deter her focus from herself. After all, some brides want to opt in for a first look with her bridesmaids, and having everyone see the dress before hand, takes away the trueness of their first impression. Help the bride determine what questions are important to ask before booking wedding dress appointments.
Shop for Bridesmaid Dresses
After the bride finds her dress, she'll want to select bridesmaid dresses. Some brides allow the bride tribe to pick from a site or from a select few as long as the color aligns with the wedding colors. Other brides select one bridesmaid dress for the whole group to wear. Whichever be the case, helping is very appreciated. We love Kennedy Blue bridesmaid dresses for their beautiful colors and love the various options from Azazie. Pictured is the Kristin Bridesmaid Dress from Kennedy Blue in color, Blossom.
Shop Bridesmaid Dresses Under $100 at Birdy Grey
Serve as a Point of Contact for the Bridesmaids
The bride is involved in a TON of different things from deciding which flowers she wants to have at the wedding, to securing a venue, finding great wedding vendors, balancing a budget, and finding her dress. Weddings cause a lot of stress and a lot of things are required to get done before the big day. Owning communication for the bridesmaids is a way to really help her out and take that off her plate completely. Start by sending an intro text or organize a group Zoom call. Plus, being close to the bridesmaids will allow you to keep up on attire/dress questions, bachelorette questions, and the fine details.
Plan the Bachelorette Party
Whether it's taking the planning process full on or helping the bride out, this is a BIG help as there are many moving pieces in planning a bachelorette party, especially if it's a destination party which many are now days. Use our digital Ultimate Bachelorette Party Planner to help organize, compare accommodation and activity costs, budget by category, and split costs evenly among attendees! You can even factor the bride in as a payee or split her portion among all others with a simple toggle of a button.
Communicate Details and Collect Costs for the Bachelorette Party
We get it. People are in different financial situations, have busy lives, may or may not answer text messages right away, and unfortunately, sometimes you may feel "ghosted" as a maid of honor. It's totally normal though! Communicating and ensuring everyone is on board can be tough, but keeping close and frequent communication is important. Often times, there is at least one bridesmaid who rarely responds. Maybe she doesn't have a preference, forgets to reply, or simply doesn't feel as if she can communicate certain things to the larger group. If you experience this, consider sending her a direct text or hopping on the phone with her.
Help Plan the Bridal Shower + Track Gifts Received
Planning bridal showers are always so fun because many times, the bride doesn't know what's in store for her. It is one of the very few things where she doesn't plan. Remember to make it about her and make it as personable as you can. The bride wants to open her gifts seamlessly and not worry about who bought what, so taking on this role will definitely help her write her thank you cards easier and without worry. After the gifts are all opened, taking a quick picture of the sheet with your phone or camera will be a nice backup in case champagne or coffee spills on it.
Offer a Hand with Creating Center Pieces or Any Other Tasks
If the bride chooses to make her own center pieces, she fronts up a ton of work along with planning the rest of the wedding. Offering a hand in creating anything will allow you to spend time with her while getting a big task done. Make it fun- play some music, pour some bubbly, and enjoy the moment together.
Write Your Maid of Honor Speech
Writing a maid of honor speech may seem scary at first but drafting it out early on allows you to re-read your speech and alter as you go. Consider adding in some special memories you two had together and make it personal.
Rally up the Wedding Party and Have Them Select Their Wedding Reception Intro Songs
When the wedding party enter the reception, usually a song plays for each couple. Having the bridesmaids work with the groomsmen early will be important as the DJ will need this list of songs beforehand. If your wedding party isn't cooperating, select a handful of songs for backup and have the DJ play the songs for the couples who haven't selected a song. Don't feel bossy about assigning a deadline for the songs to be in by. Sometimes, it takes bossy girls to get things done! Also, don't let this small detail stress you or the bride out as it really won't be a key memory into which song was played. One thing to note is if the wedding is not following schedule and is behind, playing one song for the entire wedding party may be a way to catch up on some lost time. This will put ease on the hungry guests, yourself, as well as the DJ since he/she will only have to play one song versus 6-8+ different songs.
Communicate Day of Timeline to the Wedding Party and Ensure their Bag is Packed with All Necessarily Items
The day of timeline for a wedding typically isn't crafted until the last darn minute and is subject to change. This is one of the most stressful parts of planning a wedding. Printing off a Day of Timeline reference for each member involved will help everyone stay on track throughout the day. Be sure to communicate any details well before the morning of the wedding such as what time to be at the salon, hair/makeup details, etc. Unfortunately, some people don't read the day of timeline even though they have a copy and freak out about 'when, where, and what' the day of. Don't let this bother you. Be there to communicate, communicate, and re-communicate. Having extra copies on hand will allow you to simply pass the sheet to the person with question, all while keeping your cool.
Help the Bride Get Dressed On Her Wedding Day
Being in the bridal suite helping her get dressed will be one of the most special pre-wedding moments the bride will feel. This is it! Her wedding dress, wedding shoes, wedding jewelry all come together and form the bride! Helping her zip her dress or buckle her shoes is a nice gesture as her honeyboo won't be there to do it for her. Plus, this will absolutely make her feel like a princess!
Ensure the Bride and Groom Don't Cross Paths on the Wedding Day
Once the bride is especially dressed, she cannot risk accidentally bumping into her groom before they say 'I Do'. Have some help from the bridesmaids and spearhead the challenge as you be the lead when walking between the restroom, to the bridal room, to anywhere else the bride might walk to before the ceremony. Consider having a whistle or bell to alarm the guys that the bride tribe is walking through.
Help the Bride When She Needs to Use the Restroom
One very hilarious, but an odd tip we learned is when the bride needs to use the restroom, instead of sitting on the toilet normal, sit facing the tank while keeping your legs on the sides of the toilet bowl. Yes, it will feel awkward and look quite silly, but this way, you won't destroy your dress and your maid of honor can hold your dress outward / upward from behind and she'll have plenty of room to do so. Plus, the bride will be aiming away from the fabric that makes up her wedding dress.
Hold Onto The Grooms Ring
If you're lucky enough to have pockets in your bridesmaid dress, this will be easy. If you don't have pockets, wrap the grooms' ring around your thumb while you hold onto any other important wedding items such as the bride's wedding vows. The last thing you want to do is drop his ring mid ceremony! Yikes!
Be Her B.B.P (Bouquet Backup Partner)
The bride walks down the aisle, while holding her big, heavy, bouquet. As she approaches the alter, she will pass her bridal bouquet to her maid of honor as she goes and marries her true love. Once the ceremony concludes, literally seconds right before the bride and groom take off down the aisle, she'll want to snatch back her bouquet as many pictures are captured and she celebrates the marriage of her and her now husband! Don't forget this part as it'll be critical and happen very quickly. Work out a time together during the wedding rehearsal as to when exactly you plan to give her back her bouquet. Practice the pass a couple of times until you both feel comfortable.
Dance the Night Away and Celebrate the Mr. and Mrs!
Last, but not least...dance the night away and enjoy your now pronounced Mr. and Mrs! Be proud of your maid of honor role and be sure to dance besides the couple on the dance floor! If the bride opts in for a bouquet toss, be front and center and jump for that bouquet girl! After all, you do deserve it!
How to Pack A 'Bride Kit' for The Many Wedding Events:
One popular event the maid of honor typically has a bride emergency kit is the wedding dress shopping day and the day of the wedding. Wedding dress shopping is so very exciting for the bride and all the wonderful ladies joining her while she says 'Yes to the Dress'! Often times, brides forget the small things. We recommend packing your purse with these essential items to allow for a smooth, happy day.
Trying on wedding dresses can be and should be emotional! Lots of beautiful moments are often times followed with happy tears, so ensuring the group has enough tissues is important! Plus, these will come in handy for the entire bride tribe on the big wedding day!
Pack Hair Ties and Hair Clips
If your bride isn't sure on how she plans to style her hair for her big day, consider sneaking in some hair ties and hair clips. This will allow her to quickly whip up her hair if she's overwhelmed, hot, or just wanting to see what the dress looks like with her hair up. We're obsessed with this bridal hair scrunchie!
Pack Mints and/or Gum
Driving from shop to shop, trying on many dresses, all while trying to be gentle with the wedding dresses can be exhausting! The bride may feel as if she has nasty breath, so ensuring she has fresh breath will make her feel better. Mints can help on her wedding day too since she'll want fresh breath for the big smooch! Ohh, la, la!
Have a Water Bottle on Hand, Always!
The bride may forget to drink enough water throughout the wedding dress shopping day which can in turn, create stress. Bring a water bottle for her to sip on in between dresses. Water bottles are nice to have on hand for the wedding day also so she can stay hydrated the the big day!
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